Next ten minutes you will be reading a very personal file of my life. Do know, this is difficult for me. It has been long seventeen years and I am still hurting. I do not expect to heal completely but I am trying...

In the late eighties, Rourkela was a sleepy town. I was doing my graduation from Raurkela engineering collage. I stayed in a boy’s hostel. My mom’s favourite brother and my local guardian lived a few kilometres away. Uncle was a bachelor and lived all by himself in an old bungalow.

When I close my eyes, I see that fateful day. It was a lazy summer afternoon. I was going to uncle’s place after a month. Exams over, a good ten minutes ride on my hero Honda bike took me to the familiar iron-gate. I immediately put my foot hard on the brake. A small brown puppy was making helpless noises in his unique language inches away from my front wheel. He was tiny and fluffy. My young heart was about to go to him, when it was captured by this tall girl, who ran out of my uncle’s Bungalow. She was tall and had long curly hair. She lifted him effortlessly to the safety of her arms. The brown puppy was as comfortable with her as a baby with his mother. While my pulse raced, the little puppy licked her hands. She walked back after throwing me a hesitant smile. She was beautiful.

It was few minutes before I followed her. My uncle was sitting on his arm chair in the veranda, reading a news paper. He informed me in his loud style that a family was renting the empty first floor. They were two sisters and a love sick puppy. The puppy was in love with a bitch twice his size across the street. He tried to cross the road every time the gate was left open. The father of the sisters was a marine engineer and spent a good part of his life at sea. Their mother was an arthritis patient. she was confined to her room most of the time.

A smart looking girl came out of the house with two mugs of steaming hot coffee. ‘Hi, I am Tina, your new friend’. She offered me coffee and smiled with open warmth at my uncle. But of course she was the elder of the two sisters. Shorter in height, with straight hair, she had a winner’s smile.

In the next two weeks, I got to know her quite well. She was confident and friendly. She made it a point to befriend me. I had never met a girl like her before. She was a true free spirit, nothing bogged her down. Against my better judgement I got real close to her. She offered herself in a way that was irresistible to me. She flirted and loved me with out any commitment or confusion. We went to see movies and football matches and spent most of our summer holidays together. She was endearing and playful. I went along with her even though I was not in love. That did not bother her. Nothing bothered her, not even the fact that I was younger. Socially, we were not taken as a couple.

The younger sister was her opposite. She spent her time reading comics or playing with the puppy. We were almost the same age but I felt responsible for her .Every time our eyes met, mine soften with affection. Her eyes were huge and trusting.

On the last day of summer holidays, I went over to my uncle’s place in the afternoon. Tina had left for a friend’s birthday party. I was to join her later in the evening. As I parked my bike, I saw the younger sister sitting in the garden. She was wearing a pale yellow tunic frock. The late afternoon wind was playing with her brown hair. I walked over to her. She looked so sad. ‘Are you alright? You look like you just saw a ghost.’ I kept my tone lighter. She looked up from her sitting position, striking me with her eyes. I have no idea, if it was the glaze from her youthful face or the sun light that dazzled my eyes. I felt as if some body wrapped a white rug around me in cold winter. Tears were flowing down her paper white cheeks. She threw her arms around my neck and pressed her thin body against mine. That was my heaven on earth. I realised from that moment on, no matter where life takes me, I would be incomplete with out her.

Her love sick puppy had died in an accident in the morning. While trying to cross the road he was crushed under a white ambassador. She was heart broken and wept like a lost child. We hugged each other and became friends. I never made it for the birthday party. Tina was furious. She hated my friendship with her sister. Her footloose and fancy free nature took a 180 degree turn. She became demanding and spiteful. I felt weak and drained in front of her. I almost stopped going to my uncle’s place.   

Instead, I called the younger sister over the phone. We talked for hours and hours on the phone. I spent all my pocket money paying the telephone booth charges. I was falling head over heels for her. I visited her only when Tina went for her tuitions. We watered the plants and heard Kishore kumar numbers together. One evening, I sang along ‘Aye mere dil ke chain, chain aye mere dil ko dua kijiye’ to her. When I finished she clapped playfully. I suggested with gesture to give me a peck on my cheek. She brought her rose pink mouth close to me and I turned my face taking the kiss on my mouth. For a full minute I held my breath while she was in shock. Then she smiled ‘Smart guy, my first kiss by the way.’

I came down to find Tina waiting for me at the gate. She obviously got a clear view from there. She called me a two timing slime ball. May be I was, may be I was not. I did not care. At last I knew what I did not want. I did not want Tina and her pretensions.

Needless to say, Tina called her sister down and told her all about us. The innocent girl was marred for life. I still shudder at the memories. Three of us were crying at a time. It still breaks my heart and it always will. I wish, I were a little older and mature. I wish I had the strength to say no to Tina. If wishes were horses beggars would ride.…